Vulnerability & Shame

What makes you feel vulnerable? What triggers feelings of shame for you?

I encourage everyone to watch this incredibly informative & fascinating TEDxTalk on why we’re suffering so much as a species right now.

This is actually life changing stuff. If we can internalise & apply these paradigm shifts ourselves and help others do the same, we could help shift the cultural consciousness to a more positive one. It’s just a matter of sharing it with the right people as well as making sure we’re really applying these concepts in ourselves, too.

We can be the change we want to see in the world AND help change the world!

~*~

Here is a rough outline of the talk:

+ The ability to feel connected is the reason we’re here.
+ Shame is the fear of disconnection.
+ Those who don’t feel shame, can’t feel empathy & connection.
+ The less we talk about shame, the more we feel it.

+ Underneath shame is feelings of excruciating vulnerability.
+ Vulnerability is neither good nor bad, but it’s not comfortable.
+ Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, & love.
+ Those who feel shame infrequently are willing to be vulnerable.

+ Being vulnerable requires courage, compassion, & authenticity.
+ We must not try to predict, control, perfect, blame, or numb.
+ We can’t selectively numb emotions like shame.
+ If we don’t allow ourselves to feel our shame, we can’t feel joy.

+ We must let ourselves be seen, deeply, & vulnerably. 
+ We must love w/ our whole hearts w/o expectation.
+ We must practice gratitude & joy in moments of terror & grief.
+ We must believe that we’re worthy of love & connection.

~*~

The harder it is to open ourselves to the possibility of being vulnerable, the more likely we have experienced some form of trauma in our lives. The earlier on in our lives that we were exposed to something traumatic, the more ingrained those neural pathways are, meaning the more likely the roads that leads to us experiencing feelings like shame are well travelled. This doesn’t mean that it’s too late for us to do something about it even if we’ve lived most of our lives one way. It’s never too late to change our behavioural patterns, i.e. the things that cause us to think & feel the ways we do. The literal only constant in life is that all things, including people, change. It just means that it may not be possible to change on your own. This is why the field of clinical psychology exists.

If you’re struggling with any of the things I mentioned above, please do a web search for therapists who take your insurance & provide teletherapy so you can stay in the safety of your home. You can get the support you need to change your behavioural patterns & improve your quality of life for the better exponentially. It really is possible. If you are struggling to start the search for professional help, reach out to a loved one like a friend or family member to support you in the process of finding a therapist. Therapy is for everyone. Our society, our species would be healthier if we all took the time to work on improving ourselves with professional guidance & support.

I love you all so very much & care about you immensely. I simply want to help you in your journey of becoming the person you want to be & creating the life you’ve always dreamed of. Anything’s possible. You just have to take that first step & reach out.

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