Well! It has been a while! Hello, friends! How are you all doing? It sure has been a wild few years. In the midst of all the chaos, I chose to retreat within myself, but not in the self-isolating way I normally have done. Instead of being avoidant, I chose to be present with myself,Continue reading “2022 Life Update”
All I really want in life is to become a genuinely good, nice, kind, caring, productive person.
We’re all living beings trying to figure out how to live better, but we’re not all capable of the same things or moving at the same pace and we never, EVER will be, so we have to let that dream die already. Please try to have some patience & tolerance for those of us who are a little slower at this process than you might be. We’d REALLY appreciate it.
I haven’t made a blog post in a while.
I haven’t updated my social media accounts either.
So, why is this?
Here’s the full story.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? The things that matter? The truth is none of it matters. And the truth is all of it matters tremendously. It’s a wonder any of us ever get out of bed at all. And yet, we get out of bed.”
One of the most universally “autistic” struggles I undergo is requiring a certain level of precision of language in order to be able to process the new information I’m receiving in a meaningful way.
Part of my black or white, all or nothing, rigid thinking includes me vacillating between thinking that I have super awesome unique talents, skills, traits, and attributes that are worthwhile, positive, useful, helpful, and beneficial and feeling that my strong personality, preferences, opinions, and ways of expressing myself are too difficult for people to find worth tolerating or putting up with.
Just a random factual statement made w/ neutral intentions: I appreciate when people let me know they care about me, but sometimes I feel smothered or overwhelmed if people do it too much
So, I’m about to be going down to 50mg of lamotrigine – I was at 200mg for years, so that’s pretty huge – next week. I’m still at 25mg of venlafaxine, but I was on 150mg for almost the same amount of time that I was on lamotrigine for. I’m hoping to be off of lamotrigine by the end of January if not sooner & off of venlafaxine by March if not sooner.
Someone asked me to explain why I like being autistic. I suppose it’s because there’s still a lot of stigma & misunderstanding about what autism really is. So, for those who are curious, here’s my personal experience w/ my particular flavor of autism (because it’s different for everyone).