All I really want in life is to become a genuinely good, nice, kind, caring, productive person.
What makes you feel vulnerable? What triggers feelings of shame for you?
The harder it is to open ourselves to the possibility of being vulnerable, the more likely we have experienced some form of trauma in our lives. The earlier on in our lives that we were exposed to something traumatic, the more ingrained those neural pathways are, meaning the more likely the roads that leads to us experiencing feelings like shame are well travelled.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? The things that matter? The truth is none of it matters. And the truth is all of it matters tremendously. It’s a wonder any of us ever get out of bed at all. And yet, we get out of bed.”
One of the most universally “autistic” struggles I undergo is requiring a certain level of precision of language in order to be able to process the new information I’m receiving in a meaningful way.